Another day

I watched both my parents go through this and now it’s my turn. A day is just to be endured, to make it through the day until you can sleep again. And then start over again tomorrow. Until it finally ends. Even though that takes a long time.

I have strange feelings about my mother. Her life, at the end, and even before, was fairly miserable. Not physical pain but just hours and hours of thinking, trying to find a way to not think, not feel. Maybe pain is better, keeps you focused; maybe not, but just trying to make it through the day is painful too. Often life ends long before the major organ failure.

I have many reasons to be thankful. All sorts of things are in my advantage. Lots of people have it far worse. But none of that adds up to anything with hours and hours just hoping to make it through the day until sleepy enough to get some relief, wishing for the long sleep of complete relief.

Brains, consciousness, are a curse. Better to just be existential. Spend the day looking for food, avoiding being eaten, until finally your number is up. Have your brief life of independence where your only purpose is reproduction and the spawning the next generation to suffer. Then you’re useless, time to get eaten, but the survival instincts keep you from just lying down and giving up. So we endure. Until finally we can’t anymore and suffer until it finally ends.

Anything else is just an illusion, something evolution programmed into us. Pure beasts just live, but we got stuck with more thinking and consciousness. Thinking leads to inevitable conclusion of uselessness. But that would have to be a recessive trait or else thinking beings would be obliterated by natural selection. So we invent delusions and do all nature expects of us, live long enough to breed successfully – after that, who cares what happens to us, except rarely does it just kill us quickly and get it over with.

So now I just endure days. Time that should be precious and treasured is just something that passes so slowly that I can hardly invent enough diversions to survive being awake. I won’t repeat what my mother said in her first few months at the nursing home, but I get it.

Oh why not repeat it. She was 101. She said, every time I saw her, “why can’t I just die”. I actually think she was afraid of dying so it was still kind of an act (holding evil at bay by calling out the negative). She stopped saying that as time went on but meanwhile just shrunk and shrunk until there was hardly anything left, and then she was finally gone.

I’m too healthy for that. Unless something unexpected gets me I’ve got years more to endure. Just day after day of nothing, but not really being able to just turn off consciousness so it is just nothing, no thoughts. I know the answer is to want nothing, to banish all need, for everything, but that’s hard to do. Too much biochemistry works against that. My body wants things my mind is prepared to abandon but the body wins. Too bad we can’t just turn off, do a shutdown. But it’s too hard, takes too much effort, plus we’re programmed to keep going no matter what.

Buddha never answered the question – why is there suffering? Because he (if ‘he’ existed) wanted a spiritual answer. It’s actually just a simple answer of chemistry. An anthropic universe has certain rules that makes life inevitable, just somewhat more complex chemistry, which is just macroscopic effects of physics. Then biology takes over, more complex lifeforms will evolve, although not always, only with other accidents of physics. And at some point the evolution of complex neural networks will represent a natural selection advantage. And then, as not the end product, but as a highly improbable, lifeform have the misfortune to think to about all this, rather than to just do our duty as carriers of selfish molecules.

We suffer because that is the way of the universe. Suffering is not defined in physics, only in psychology. It is our ego, our self-awareness, our consciousness that is the root of suffering, not nature. Nature is inherently cruel and uncaring, but only when viewed from some external platform of moral judgement. Chemistry is just chemistry, biology is just biology. It would continue whether we’re here to think about it or not. Suffering is the inherent consequence of consciousness and that’s it. And there is no cure. And there is no way to even avoid playing the game.

I’m not sure I can learn to endure, just to tolerate time awake as a curse with no way out.

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Too sad

I just fell apart, not quite sure why. You see I’m stuck living in the house of my parents, an old guy who should have his own life and especially his own home, but this is my only place of refuge from my troubled world.

My mother died about a month ago. Since then it has been all this activity but now it’s just me, alone, here, where both my parents living out the end of their lives. Going through their stuff, finding photo albums, find pictures of me at < 1YO, with them. Now they are no more and I’m here, alone.

How has my life come to this. Once I was self-sufficient, with my own life, friends, purpose, recreations, my own house (still pay the bills on “my” house) – the standard life. I said I feel like I’m homeless. I own two houses but neither are mine and I just live here because it’s available. I had a home once, in California, the place I chose to be. But like my parents, like my purpose in life, it’s all gone now. I can’t be that little boy in all those pictures I keep finding. He’s dead too, just some husk keeps on breathing.

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Be yourself

This is one of the silliest, if not the silliest, thing anyone can say, at least in the context of social relationships. No one wants you to be yourself, your real and flawed self – they want you to be an actor with a fabulous character and script to add to the drama of their own life. People, in someone’s life, are merely collectables and no one wants to collect junk; they want something valuable and once they get that they can barter to get something even more valuable (you’re just the chorus to their self-promotion).

And why?

Well everyone expects the same thing. The good guys aren’t just losers, they’re squashed roadkill. Be yourself – HAH!,  no follow The Donald’s example and learn the art of inflating your own image, often with other people as props (and, btw, this is not a political whine, just Trump makes the point so well with his babes props to his ego). But, look, as repulsive a character as Trump: a) he has a ton of supporters, and, b) he certainly gets attention.

Now the philosophy idea of being true to yourself does make sense. We’re not only trained, by social context, to be outward liars, but we’re also trained to lie to ourselves. We are constantly bombarded with social messages, esp. by all the wussy self-help stuff, to create lies about ourselves, how wonderful we are, how great our potential is, how we can be totally choosy and discard all the unsatisfying relationships. We can be fat, stupid, broke and still demand a hunk or babe as a mate. And never, NEVER, “settle” – only the best for you. And it’s a rat race, you can be demanding of others but then you have to play the game too and puff up your own image.

From the earliest age we’re trained, not to be ourselves, but to be what others expect, to follow rules of social convention, to seek approval and popularity from others. It’s the root of getting ahead in this culture (it’s not what you know but who you know, no one will pay attention unless you sell yourself). It’s all sales and at the extreme end, a la The Donald, just con. The more convincing con you are, the better you learn your “manners” and how to sway people, the more you sell yourself – come on, tell the truth, this is what people want.

The genuine you is way too mundane and boring to be of interest to others. Who wants to collect blah but real people. The real you is the leftover that gets sold at 70% in the spring clearance sale. Be the last to be chosen a few times and you get the message. Tell whatever lies, fake passion about things that are cool (but you hate), always be positive and upbeat (nobody likes a tell-it-lie-it-is gloomy gus), be witty and charming, dress well with the right haircut. And never ever talk about ideas (in fact, don’t talk much at all, always be a good listener because the other person’s life is so much more interesting than yours), just talk about people (it’s called character development in boring BBC dramas, gossip, less kindly, but it is what people want to hear).  And pump up the other person’s ego with charm and flattery, because, after all, if they’re that cool, then you are too from the reflected glow.

This is the social game, and it is just a game. We are such silly creatures. We’re just trying to follow the programming embedded in our DNA, as it always has been for life, and create new copies of ourselves. That is our only purpose. But homo sapiens is a fairly weak creature, easily defeated by others. So we have to band together, our social hierarchy is the only thing that keeps us alive. And over the variations in hominids the social banding has also been reinforced and reinforces the pattern of our evolution. Now we have virtually no chance as an individual.

So be yourself – that’s a death sentence.

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1,000,000 pounds moved

I promised I’d hold off on a bunch of boring exercise posts, but every now and then there may be a milestone I’ll want to record. Back in Dec2015 I made my first post on my new exercise kick, strength training, where I was actually surprised how a relatively short workout would lead to such a number.

Now I can report that I’ve moved 1,000,000 lbs. That I’ve accomplished in 44 strength workout sessions (137th elapsed days since starting gym) and as of today I have 45 sessions for a total of 1,038,760 lbs (at least recorded, I have some additional I didn’t note in my log). Sounds like a lot but the real strength kings might do that in a week, but, OTOH, I figure it’s not bad for a nearly 70YO guy who’s never done this before.

My first session that I recorded (and posted) had a total of 14,000lbs and today I did 31,650 lbs, which is a bit under my record of 37,395. I have a somewhat different routine now than when I started so the comparison number (to first recorded session) is 27450 or 96% higher (almost double).  That’s not too bad for 3 months and 45 sessions or a session growth rate of 1.5% per session. But I’m clearly hitting my limit and it’s doubtful I’ll get much more gain. In fact it doesn’t look quite so good over the longest timeframe:


What the graph shows is that I was pretty dedicated in the beginning, steadily working up to higher levels. But then I began to get gaps (various events in my life that made gym more optional) and then, more of recent, I’ve been all over the place, doing a record high and record low workouts. Simply put, it’s hard to main the discipline on this.

Strength training is no more boring than the other things I do. And I can feel, in my body, some results. But it just doesn’t work as well for me, hard to translate reps on a machine into some kind of goal or sense of progress. Looking at my weakest exercise here’s my progress translated into average weight per rep for each session:


Once again my results have been a bit erratic of late, but really, from the somewhat unrealistic initial low (I was taking it easy) I’ve just barely managed a doubling (on a routine basis), or as the regression line indicates about a 0.4lb/rep gain over time. Not exactly setting the world afire.

And my strongest and biggest gain is about 2lbs/rep, but given that’s on a much higher base it works out the same. So more and more charts tell about the same story, about a doubling (almost any metric) in 3+ months but little more gain of recent.

And it’s that steady-state, just maintaining, that is even hard to handle/

Now I won’t go into other stats in detail, but the aerobic (or calorie) burn part of workouts have dropped significantly since I was doing them at home, when I still lived in house with exercise equipment in basement. I’ve dropped from somewhere around average of 600-700 calories (averaged over every day of the week) to just less than 300 (despite more intense workouts at the gym). I can feel that two ways, about 10lbs weight increase (just not burning enough calories) and much less endurance walking (forget about a long walk when I’ve gone from around 14 miles upper limit (needed about 20) back down to probably 8 miles (although winter cut that some anyway).

So the short answer is the results are mixed: 1) I definitely have improved my upper body strength, 2) I’ve lost some endurance, and, 3) it’s much harder to keep this up.

So I don’t know about you, everyone is different, but I think the best results are, if you can, get your own equipment and do your training at home, even if some days you only do a little (zero at gym when I don’t feel like driving there is a lot worse than when I only had energy/motivation for short workout in the basement). Gyms are fine and offer a more diversified program than you can do at home, but if you’re like me you’ll probably get better results at home.

Now it will be interesting to see if I do a post about moving 2,000,000 lbs which given the growth rate I have seen should be less than two months away. The idea of doing 10,000,000lbs is so remote I won’t even think about it.

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Where I’ve been

You might have noticed I haven’t done any posts for a while. This doesn’t mean I’ve given up and will soon return. Instead I’ve just been obsessed with solving a bunch of totally useless but interesting math/programming problems over at Project Euler. Some of these go smoothly for me and a few are maddeningly frustrating as either wrong assumptions or stupid programming bugs get me the big red X when I enter my enter instead of the much friendlier green check mark.

But I’ve about reached my limit. It staggers me that a few people have done all these problems, some of them are insanely hard (at least for me). I’ve learned (mostly relearned) a couple of things:

  1. go to sleep, banging your head trying to find that last bug at 3:30AM is terrible. Sleep on it and the answer might be immediately obvious the next morning.
  2. move on when you’re boxed in a corner, it will be easier to get out when you come back later
  3. think about the solution as much as you can before jumping in and trying to solve it
  4. and lots of little math details I’d forgotten and some programming tricks I’ve never used before.

So if you like hard-to-solve puzzles, head on over and try a few.

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Evolutionary disadvantage of pessimism – 3

I’m surprised that my original post on this thread is my third most read post and also surprised that I wrote a followup and here I’m doing it again. So somehow I seem to drift back to this idea about every two years (first post was 2012, second was 2014, now 2016 – hum, could it be the effect of election years?). Anyway I have (slightly) new circumstances in my life that trigger me to reconsider this. There is a situation who two mature people take a wildly different view, one optimistic and one pessimistic (guess which one I am). And now I’m thinking that the optimistic view persists, despite all evidence to the contrary, simply because “giving up” is just too sad or depressing. Interestingly this is right, the pessimistic view results in a gloomy outcome as well. Both ways of viewing a situation in the world lead to bad outcomes, but, of course, the optimistic one can always cruise on auto-pilot that refusing to accept the inevitable keeps hope alive.

Not long ago, again borrowing from Dawkins’ The Selfish Gene, as I did in my first post I attempted to create a simulation model to determine, in the game theory type approach he describes, whether there is an advantage to one view or the other. My results were inconclusive which simply means my model is both too simplistic and too speculative (any good model has to be based on some sort of past measurement and I have no data).

I have a choice right now. I can adopt the optimistic view (which at least has hope on its side even though it’s a highly unlikely outcome) or the pessimistic view (which then has a certain gloomy outcome). By nature (or nurture) I tend toward the pessimistic view, but knowing this every now and then I think I should overcome my natural inclination and perhaps switch to the other side. Looking back at history, frankly, my “optimistic” decisions are, at best, no better (and I believe realistically are worse) than my “pessimistic” decisions (some of which turned out pretty bad too). So weighing the evidence I do have I can’t decide if one POV has an advantage over the other. But I’m drawn back to the idea that most life forms, esp. those with thinking and learning and memory, are inherently optimistic as a consequence of natural selection; IOW, the “optimistic” POV has kept our species alive but mostly in misery. Life (and evolution) is its own justification – life is pointless in some cosmic sense. We humans overrate how relevant we are when in fact we live in a vast universe on a tiny speck of rock and the universe doesn’t give a damn whether we live or die (in fact, it often tries hard to kill us, but not with intent, just the way things are) but life always finds a way to perpetuate itself. That’s certainly a lesson we’ve learned even if it is just a paraphrase from the movie Jurassic Park.

So I imagine a small group of proto-humans living on the savannah a million years or so ago. They’re living near a small pond which is rapidly drying up in the dry season. Since they have big enough brains, plus some “science” (observation of nature) to guide them they can compute, most likely, their water supply will dry up before the rains come and they’re all going to die of thirst. So they gather the group and debate (with grunts and sign language) what to do. The optimists, of course, suggest they should climb out of their valley and try the valley miles away (which, of course, they don’t even know if it exists or not). The pessimists argue for staying put because if they carefully ration the water and maybe the rains will come early this season they can survive, or at least most of them can.

What happens?

Again I think a good model would show something straightforward (but I haven’t been able to build such a model). If the pessimists prevail most likely the tribe will die and thus the pessimism “gene” (yes, I know, there is no such thing, but it is also clear there is some predilection toward optimism or pessimism, so it’s just a complex gene network, mostly regulatory genes, that builds brains capable of either optimism or pessimism, so we can still call that a “gene”, just as Dawkins did). The optimists, OTOH, if their view carries the day lead their band out of the valley to either die, never find water, get killed by the tribe that controls the water, or luck out and find a bigger pond with no rivals. The point is most of the optimists die too, BUT, some of them survive, because rather than giving up at least they tried. So most of the optimist genes are wiped out but some survive and show up in future generations. Giving up, like suicide, is self-defeating and has to be eliminated by natural selection.

I actually have a personal experience that popped up in my memory while thinking about this. Once in late summer while backpacking in Desolation Wilderness and camping on the shores of Lake Aloha we were faced with the very problem I used in my hypothetical, water. Yes, there was water right in the lake but it’s also a high probability that water was contaminated and at that time our only means of purification was boiling and we were short of fuel. So it became a choice of water vs food.

BUT, easily visible on the other side of the lake were cascades of nice fresh highly aerated and recent snowmelt which (at least without the free of today’s wilderness crowd that no ground water is ever safe) would suffice. Now from the survey of the area we could see with our eyes (pre-GPS, pre-Google Earth, so no high-tech info available) it looked like a fairly easy hike to the good water. Now if we’d been a bit wiser outdoorsmen we would have realized Lake Aloha is man-made and therefore would have a primitive dam, which in fact it did, as we learned. And crossing the dam was hazardous. Dams are usually built across drainage ravines, so in fact, it was also fairly difficult, not to mention out of the way to where we’re heading, to descend and then finally climb the hill on the other side. Much to our disappointment what we found was another valley and then another hill between us and our destination. But having already spent over an hour going this far (with no packs or food, just all our water bottles) do we push on (seemingly just a short distance) or turn back? The optimistic view prevailed.

Long story short, as the hours wore on, we began to laugh at our situation and make the joke, “beyond the next hill lies another hill”, as our exploration was presenting more and more data to us. But the fresh water seemed tantalizingly close so we pressed on. At the top of one hill (where we saw still more valleys and hills ahead of us) we also saw what looked to be an easier route back to our campsite, loop all the way around the lake rather than return by the route we’d already covered. So this became the new rationalization to press on – not only would we get the water we were seeking but an easier way back.

Since I’m here to tell this tale, well we got to the water and it was cold and fresh and wonderful. We drank our fill, resting for the hike back, and filled all the bottles we were carrying (of course, now heavier and more awkward to handle than when they were empty). So after the rest and as much water as we could drink we headed back.

Now there is a reason there are no trails on that side (I believe west, IIRC) of the lake. While from a distance it looks like easy hiking, in fact, the lake is in a glacial bowl with the high side where we’re now headed and if we’d known more about geology we would have realized what looked smooth hiking was across miles of talus piles, arduous and dangerous.

So again, long story short(er), since I’m here we made it, having spent the entire day getting our water, which, btw, we mostly drank on the difficult hike back to camp. So the net result of this foolish adventure was slightly more water than we’d had when we left, sore feet, quite a bit of high altitude sunburn (since the packs with the sunblock were back at the campsite since we thought our trek would only take an hour or so), but, the good news was it was actually somewhat fun and we saw parts of the area that otherwise we would have never seen.

And, of course, the irony was, right around 3/4rds of the way around the lake, we found a trail that led to a nice fresh stream – had we gone that direction (instead lured by the water we could see) we actually could have found good water in a hour or so.

So unlike my hypothetical tribe we did take the optimistic view and did survive but some side lessons are interesting to consider as well. It’s not necessarily a binary choice between optimism and pessimism; with a little more creativity we could have found alternatives to the false dichotomy. One, in our circumstances, if we’d been very clever and used a little engineering knowledge (or maybe had time to be scientists and discover this principle) we could have jury-rigged a solar evaporator, like those people stranded at sea have in their lifeboats, thus eliminating the need for fuel and also having a nice “green” solution. Two, we could have been really pessimistic and concluded there was no way we could get water, so ration what we had and give up on the backpacking trip and head back to the car (all downhill, so could make it in a day). Now, a third option, not for us, but my hypothetical tribe, and given it is an election year and I’m seeing again all the cynical crap politicians do, we should encourage the tribe toward the optimistic view (let’s make XXX great again) and get all the fools to head to the next valley and then we sneak back and now have what little water there was in the known pond all to ourselves.

Now none of this palaver leads to any conclusions, esp. for me, but at least it’s a way to spend some time thinking about something else, so I’d guess you’d have to say this post itself represents the optimistic choice.


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No more boring exercise stats – 2

I promised in my last post under this title I’d cut back on my exercise statistics, but I have to keep them somewhere, so I guess another post after 2.5 months isn’t too much. But first a little clickbait to point out what I’ve mostly been doing, which you can read about at my exciting blog about my adventures in graphics.



Now onto the boring exercise stuff. As I mentioned I’m doing three types of workout to replace what I used to be doing at home, but I’m finding it difficult to keep up. At my previous home just heading to the basement any time of day made it easy to rack up miles on either bike or treadmill, but now I have to get ready and drive to the gym, change clothes, workout (mostly without pauses) and drive home and cleanup. So I do much more strenuous workouts there, but the total (daily) calorie burn is much less and my frequency (days/week) is much less. It’s much easier to skip but I’m trying.

So here’s probably the “bottom line” on my gym activity:


I subjectively rate the difficulty of my gym sessions (I am keeping detailed records but haven’t figured out a single metric to derive from the details) so this graph shows my cumulative score versus calendar days. You can see a few of the gaps (and subsequent drop in slope of the regression line) plus the the visibly more sparse data points later in the graph. The net result is 0.63 “points”/elapsed day where 1.5 score is a full day’s workout. I am deliberately taking it easy (if not skipping altogether) the day after a full workout because I decided to believe some anecdotal analysis that muscles, after hard strength workout, should be given a day to recover and actually build up more and strong fibers – we’ll see if that works.

The following graph just shows the raw count of gym sessions without the weighting for intensity of workouts:


This is even a bit more discouraging as it shows I’m just barely able to average doing a gym session once every three days where, before at home, I was managing almost five days per week. So it’s just tough to get the quantity of workouts.

Of the myriad of graphs I have for tracking my strength training I’ll just bore you with one:


This is my total iron moved per workout just with upper body workout machines. My iron moved totals are much higher as I’ve kept my legs strong via other exercise over past five years and for most people your legs are stronger so my average is only about 45% of my total (of my full, not truncated, routines) is upper. You can see both the gaps and, worse, the actual decline. My early enthusiasm led to the steep growth, starting around 7,000 lbs to nearly 15,000 in about a month, but after my long pause I have yet to even achieve those numbers. My individual sets (no, won’t do another graph) is now about back enough to where I was before but the total sets (esp. including the maximum weight, but few reps sets) is way down. It’s just tough to do this, esp. as: a) my rate of growth has definitely slowed down (out of shape easily cured, gain in strength – not so easy), and, b) it really is boring and hard to focus. Plus I really don’t know what my goal should be and so it’s hard to get the same sense of progress, as with treadmill, where I both had a goal (long walk, with long daily distance) and both a sense of progress and how much more I had to gain. Just as a number, my average rep is about 55lbs, with my weakest averaging a bit over 30lbs and my strongest averaging a bit over 70lbs (at least I’m not too embarrassed when I lower the weight setting from the previous user).

But I suppose the big news is, given my first post on gym was claiming the big deal of having done 14,000 lbs in a workout that now my average is up to nearly 25,000 (just of the “full” routines) and my total has now passed the half million mark, 549,480 total recorded pounds of iron moved or about 274 tons (which means I’m now past what those very large mining machines can move in their single load). Now given I’ve done zero (deliberate) weight moving since crew days in college I suppose I can claim some sort of success.

The more disappointing part of using gym is the relatively low amount of calorie burn I’m getting (and it shows, a bit, on the scales). I was averaging about 700 calories/day (day meaning all days, not just workout days) and now I’m much lower. I’m doing treadmill (hard) and both types of bikes (hard), but it’s still just not enough time (or miles, even lower than the calorie burn drop):


I only count calorie burn based on the readout of the aerobic machines (which, I believe, read lower at the gym than my machines at previous home, but still…) so the slope, 224.78 or the slightly different “average”, 232.64 cals/elapsed day is at least down to just 1/3rd of what I was doing before. Putting that in different terms that’s about 35,000 calories less burned or about 10 pounds of fat, which, not coincidentally, is about my weight gain (albeit over about 150 days) since ending my regular aerobic calorie burns at home. In fact, I’m a little surprised my weight has increased more but I might be near my “set point” (as many dietitians claim exists) and so it hasn’t been worse. My previous low weight was probably a bit “unnatural” for me and thus hard to sustain, so I guess I can, at least, be pleased I haven’t gone up even more (about 17lbs, from best to worst, or about 10lbs from relatively “steady” values). But I can still feel a bit more blubber around my middle than I’d like so I just have to not let this slide. So I hope I can at least stay stabilized where I am and maybe even flatter myself I’ve had some increase in muscle mass which weighs more than fat.

But without a doubt my walking has suffered. Instead of peak daily rates of 12 miles/day (still short of what I’d need to do for a long walk) I’m down to more like 5 miles/day and I suspect I’d be very tired if I attempted 12 miles, which in about another month may become possible again as spring is coming and I can get back on the trail.


As far as my other two, at home, activities, those have slacked off hugely. The first thing I did moving in here was write a “nag” program (just went off with its nag) to at least get me doing some exercise while sitting long hours in front of computer. I was averaging over a 1000 reps/day (in eight different exercises) and I’m lucky if I’m now maintaining 100:


While this was my only upper body exercise before and I have done over 55,000 reps (half without any weights) but total iron moved is only about 138,000 pounds, or about six full upper body workout days at the gym (which totals 277,200 pounds). So I’m not too upset about decreasing this number which was probably a modest help, although at least something if I hadn’t also joined the gym.

Likewise I’ve dropped a lot on my one exercise device here at home, the stretchy springs thing, but I’ve actually slightly increased my maximum reps (in a single set) over time but even that’s almost leveling out. But, nonetheless doing 8169 total reps on that device (when I started I could not even do one!) is something.

So I’m finding strength workouts both much harder to do (as regularly or intensely as I should) and also difficult to measure with all these graphs I need for self-motivation to set and achieve goals. I was never very good at this, but strength can be regained at any age and it’s probably more important to be doing this at my current age (and beyond). I do have the feeling, certainly of a bit more muscle mass (or at least harder muscles), but more importantly a bit more agility, which is really important. While walking late at night I recently slipped on some nearly invisible black ice and I think I would have fallen (rather than caught myself) if I hadn’t been doing this exercise, insufficient thought it may be. Falls are the real devil to older people and fitness is the best remedy so I can, subjectively believe all this has done some good, just not enough.

So there’s my story, my update for about last three months, so I won’t need to bore you with any more, but I do expect to stick with this enough to hit 1,000,000 pounds of iron moved and that’s too much of a milestone to overlook, so there’s bound to be a -3 version of this post, but so long for now.


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