Will Microsoft ever learn

I’ve had various versions of Wintel hardware and software for almost as long as WiFi has existed and Microsoft is still clueless how to handle it. They’ve been bad at it forever.

Now I made my living through software, most recently as an architect and I actually know a thing or two about writing code and/or design.

SHIT HAPPENS! Errors are not some unexpected anomaly, they’re more common than what’s supposed to happen.

GET OVER IT you amateurs and grow up and learn to be real programmers. Most of your code will be error handling.

Now I’m lucky in that I lived in ancient times when we built both hardware and software and had to know a little something about both. So here’s another clue you youngsters – analog hardware is really mysterious and spooky and terribly unpredictable. You know all those little ones and zeros you think exist, all those nicely formed packets and protocols – sorry, it’s incredible luck that anything ever works in analog, so don’t tease the physics gods that you think binary actually the way the world works!

WiFi, in case you didn’t know (which your code shows you don’t) is analog, weird little blobs of photons moving around more according to Uncertainty Principle (that’s something you learn when you get a real education, including science and engineering, instead of just coding or hacking). Walls, air currents, humidity, people walking around, actually cause unexpected perturbations of the Force (I know that’s before your time too, but maybe you’ve seen the reruns). And as a result, horrors!, connections that milliseconds ago were just fine, disappear.

But here’s what the baby programmers at Microsoft have never understand. What randomness takes away (always at an inopportune moment) it also usually gives back. So wise up, add some error handling, ALWAYS assume anything analog will fail, and deal with the real world, you know that funny stuff called reality that exists outside Redmond.

The historic stupidity of Microsoft’s WiFi support is almost enough to make me forget Apple’s type of arrogance and go back to a Mac. At least my iPod Touch can handle a temporary drop and then reconnect, even if otherwise it is something I have to worship to be worthy enough to own.

But the kiddies at Microsoft think networks always work and when they don’t you call somebody in IT to fix it. It never dawns on them they need to actually design and write their code to deal with intermittent errors when you are actually mobile, you know any computer that isn’t sitting on your desk right this minute.

So in this case, thank you, WordPress, for realizing my WiFi would temporarily drop and thus Windows 7 would decide I didn’t really need that post I’d worked on for a while (besides, punishing me for ever believing Microsoft wouldn’t lose my data at exactly the wrong time and thus failing to do my own backups) and saving a draft automatically. It would, however, be nice if your programmers didn’t play hide and seek with me, so that when I finally connected my laptop through hardwire directly into WiFi router and thus woke up Windows 7 to think it now has the only networking anyone in Redmond uses, actual hardwired links, then you tempted me with the idea my post was somewhere hidden inside WordPress and if I prayed to your gods the right way you’d give it back to me. Well, you finally coughed it up and that’s more than I can say for Microsoft, but I didn’t need to follow a maze of twisty little passages to find it (that’s before your time too, but you should worship at the shrine of Don Woods for inventing the first RPG, plus the first software to ever go viral, even before you invented that term – gosh, us old farts did do a thing or two before Mark declared himself to be the messiah of software).

No wonder people hate computers. And no wonder baby programmers think they’re so cool and the greatest thing to hit the earth. If you last a few more decades and learn how to write code that actually works (hint: don’t let product management push you into feature explosion, do a few features RIGHT), then maybe I’ll worship you too.

p.s. I already had the category ‘whine’, but it’s clear I need a little more so now I’m adding ‘rant’, of course, now if I can figure out how to do that in WordPress since this method of adding this post is inconsistent with the UI I saw before, I know they hid it somewhere.

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About dmill96

old fat (but now getting trim and fit) guy, who used to create software in Silicon Valley (almost before it was called that), who used to go backpacking and bicycling and cross-country skiing and now geodashes, drives AWD in Wyoming, takes pictures, and writes long blog posts and does xizquvjyk.
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2 Responses to Will Microsoft ever learn

  1. dmill96 says:

    I’m sorry Microsoft, I’ll keep my mouth shut, please don’t send yet another virus out to infect this already sick machine.

  2. Big Mistake says:

    Oh, we’re gonna get you

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