McDonalds: Don’t Use GMO Potato

The nutrition scolds already hate McDonalds and will say anything nasty about it they can. McDonalds has aggressively moved toward calorie labeling, but: a) it’s not enough, and, b) somehow it’s even bad they did this because, well, er, lots of silly explanations. Other than colas McDonalds (or maybe just all fast food, except, of course, Chipotle with their ingenious “fresh” propaganda campaign) is evil and can’t possibly do anything right.

Now what I’m getting at is the announcement of a new GMO potato, by Simplot (already a major supplier to McDonalds). The potato bruises less easily (who cares about that, if potatoes were locally sourced, even though they don’t grow in much climates in the U.S., bruising wouldn’t be an issue when the hippies lovingly bring in a single handful of potatoes, it’s that evil “factory” agriculture that causes bruising anyway). And it has less of a known carcinogen, oh, but that doesn’t matter since McDonald will just add more carcinogens anyway. McDonalds, you can’t win this one. You combine the despised fast food with GMO and the nutrition nuts will have a field day denouncing you.

Now of course one approach McDonalds could adopt is the in-your-face Repug approach of rollin’ coal or more guns in schools. That is, for certain issues you assume: a) liberals are idiots and commies and anti-American and whatever and just decide to not care if they vote or buy or support your product, party, cause, whatever – since compromise and dialog are for pussies, and the purest partisan bullying is the only way for real men, or, b) we’ll get more sales/votes from those who support us (than we’ll lose) by kicking sand in the face of the other guys.

So McDonalds get out your transfats and pour on the salt and load up on sugar and dump the nutrition statements and add these GMO potatoes and just go for it – people who criticize McDonalds aren’t going to buy anything from you anyway, not matter how much you try to kiss their ass, so go the other way – those people are commie pussies and real ‘mercins eat greasy fries made from high tech potatoes.

Now I doubt the marketing department at McDonalds is going to take a Duck Dynasty or Sarah Palin or Scalia approach, so how can they possibly add an improved potato to their menu without it getting the leftie’s anti-science campaign. It’s just amazing – the idiot religinut right attacks science over evolution and climate change and the left chimes in over anti-vax and anti-GMO, both sides equally ignorant of any real science. Is there any chance for us at all?


About dmill96

old fat (but now getting trim and fit) guy, who used to create software in Silicon Valley (almost before it was called that), who used to go backpacking and bicycling and cross-country skiing and now geodashes, drives AWD in Wyoming, takes pictures, and writes long blog posts and does xizquvjyk.
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2 Responses to McDonalds: Don’t Use GMO Potato

  1. dmill96 says:

    I’m getting a lot of hits from searches but all I find is innumerable articles about how McDs is NOT going to use Simplot’s new GMO potato. I guess McDs must have read my post, at least the title, and failed to notice the rest substance of my post. All foods we eat are GMOs (anyone out there eating weeds? come on!). Agricultural for thousands of years has genetically modified crops via a variety of breeding technologies so Simplot’s new potato is nothing new. And furthermore, unlike the hostility toward putting exogenes into plants this modification merely reduces the expression of a gene already present in potatoes! A simple modification to get the plant to produce less of something it “naturally” produces. But this is way too subtle for the haters who see GMO and freak out without a clue about the science. And boy does it make news. But McDonalds, do you really think you’re going to win any friends with this move? One of my search hits denounces 17 “horrible” ingredients in fries, not even counting the potatoes. The anti-GMO crowd will never understand and will never cut you a break. So McDs, I want you to cut potential carcinogens in my (rarely consumed) fries with a totally benign change in the breeding. So McDs let’s see whether you get any good press from rejecting Simplot’s potato – fat chance!

  2. dmill96 says:

    Interesting. While my post doesn’t show in the first five pages of Google results (who knows where it is) I managed to make the first page in Bing, certainly a first, but also the first time my search terms has Bing at the top of the list. I guess Microsoft likes me better than Google but Google’s results are sorta silly as most of the first 50 are just the same story repeated in many media outlets whereas Bing seems to have a broader selection. Interesting. Maybe I’ll have to give Bing another look not because they favored my post but because they have more diversity in their results, at least this time.

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